By: Joe Rodriguez, San Jose Mercury News
A 35-year-old man apparently slipped away before San Jose police could surround the house in which he had threatened to kill himself Saturday.
After receiving a call from the man late Saturday night, police officers entered the home on Hillsdale Avenue and found assault rifles.
The man remains at large. Police have declined to identify the man until they determine whether he committed any crimes.
The standoff "is resolved,'' Sgt. Ronnie Lopez said Sunday, but officers would continue to search for him and for evidence of criminal activity in the house.
"At this point we're not considering him armed and dangerous," Lopez said.
Neighbors were asked to evacuate and the street had been closed Saturday from about dawn to 11 p.m.
Family members told the Mercury News the man is a former Marine reservist who was distraught about losing his tile business and other financial troubles. He reportedly pointed a gun at his head early Saturday and told his fiancee and mother that he was going to "off myself,'' or force the police to kill him.
Lopez said police heard what sounded like a single shot from inside the house as they began to cordon off the area.
"We treated him like a barricade suspect,'' Lopez said, adding that officers tried to contact him several ways and deployed loud "noise flash devices.''
However, Lopez said, police now think he slipped out of the house while the police were securing the area. He called them about 9 p.m. from a phone near a local video store and gave police permission to enter the home. As many as three assault rifles were found inside.
Police rushed to the pay phone from which he had called but did not find him.
San Jose police remained patient during the standoff after last weekend's tragedy in Oakland, when a Special Weapons and Tactics team entered a house with a heavily armed suspect who had already killed two officers. Two more officers were killed in the ill-fated entry.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Can Ecstasy Help Soldiers with PTSD?
By: Reuters
The drug MDMA — better known as the illegal recreational drug "Ecstasy" — may help people with posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) recover, a Norwegian research team suggests.
They say the effect of MDMA should allow PTSD patients bond more easily with their therapists, take control of their emotions, and re-learn how to respond to past trauma.
People with PTSD "are usually running away from what they experienced as very scary, and then they never have this inhibition learning, this fear-learning," Pal-Orjan Johansen of the Norwegian University of Science and Technology in Trondheim commented to Reuters Health. "When the clients are getting MDMA we believe it is easier for them. It becomes more bearable, it becomes easier to regulate, to be in the situation and not run away."
A couple of small studies in which people with PTSD were given MDMA in addition to standard therapy have had promising results, Johansen and his colleague Teri Krebs, a graduate student in neuroscience at the university, note in their report in the Journal of Psychopharmacology. Meanwhile, three controlled clinical trials of MDMA plus therapy are now underway.
A minority of people will develop PTSD after surviving traumatic events, such as being raped or serving in combat. They will continually re-experience the traumatic event in an intrusive way, while trying to avoid things that will trigger these memories or remind them of the traumatic experience.
Currently, the standard treatment for PTSD is extinction-based exposure therapy, in which a therapist guides the person to revisit the traumatic memories repeatedly, until he or she is able to experience them without fear. However, more than 40% of people still have PTSD after undergoing this treatment.
In their article, the researchers describe three mechanisms for how MDMA might benefit people who aren't cured by therapy alone, and even speed up treatment and make it more effective.
'Cuddle chemical' reduces fear, boosts trust
First, they say, MDMA drug triggers the release of oxytocin, the so-called "cuddle chemical," which reduces fear while boosting trust. This could make it easier for PTSD victims to build a strong relationship with their therapist — which is key to treatment success.
Second, the drug could help re-balance the dysfunctional relationship between two brain regions seen in people with PTSD. These individuals show excessive activation of the amygdala and less activity in the ventro-medial prefrontal cortex (vmPFC).
"The amygdala is the most connected region of your brain, it's doing a lot of stuff, it's really important for emotional regulation and triggering emotional responses to fear," Krebs explained in an interview. In a healthy person's brain, the amygdala and vmPFC are in "constant communication," she added, but in PTSD the overactive amygdala may overpower the vmPFC, making it much more difficult for a person to control their emotional responses to traumatic memories, while making it harder for them to confront these memories.
The opposite occurs when a person takes MDMA, according to Krebs; his or her amygdala activity is dampened down, while the vmPFC becomes more active. This could help a person feel more in control and better able to revisit traumatic memories, the researchers say.
Finally, Krebs and Johansen say, MDMA boosts the release of norepinephrine and cortisol, brain chemicals that are essential for emotional learning. Sedative drugs like Valium are sometimes given to people with PTSD, the researchers note, and these may actually blunt the effectiveness of therapy by completely wiping out the stress response to fearful memories, which is needed for re-learning to occur.
The current report is meant to provide a "framework" for researchers interested in investigating how MDMA might help people with PTSD and other anxiety-related conditions, said Krebs, who with Johansen has received a grant from the Research Council of Norway to investigate the topic. "What we'd really like to see is more research in this area."
The drug MDMA — better known as the illegal recreational drug "Ecstasy" — may help people with posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) recover, a Norwegian research team suggests.
They say the effect of MDMA should allow PTSD patients bond more easily with their therapists, take control of their emotions, and re-learn how to respond to past trauma.
People with PTSD "are usually running away from what they experienced as very scary, and then they never have this inhibition learning, this fear-learning," Pal-Orjan Johansen of the Norwegian University of Science and Technology in Trondheim commented to Reuters Health. "When the clients are getting MDMA we believe it is easier for them. It becomes more bearable, it becomes easier to regulate, to be in the situation and not run away."
A couple of small studies in which people with PTSD were given MDMA in addition to standard therapy have had promising results, Johansen and his colleague Teri Krebs, a graduate student in neuroscience at the university, note in their report in the Journal of Psychopharmacology. Meanwhile, three controlled clinical trials of MDMA plus therapy are now underway.
A minority of people will develop PTSD after surviving traumatic events, such as being raped or serving in combat. They will continually re-experience the traumatic event in an intrusive way, while trying to avoid things that will trigger these memories or remind them of the traumatic experience.
Currently, the standard treatment for PTSD is extinction-based exposure therapy, in which a therapist guides the person to revisit the traumatic memories repeatedly, until he or she is able to experience them without fear. However, more than 40% of people still have PTSD after undergoing this treatment.
In their article, the researchers describe three mechanisms for how MDMA might benefit people who aren't cured by therapy alone, and even speed up treatment and make it more effective.
'Cuddle chemical' reduces fear, boosts trust
First, they say, MDMA drug triggers the release of oxytocin, the so-called "cuddle chemical," which reduces fear while boosting trust. This could make it easier for PTSD victims to build a strong relationship with their therapist — which is key to treatment success.
Second, the drug could help re-balance the dysfunctional relationship between two brain regions seen in people with PTSD. These individuals show excessive activation of the amygdala and less activity in the ventro-medial prefrontal cortex (vmPFC).
"The amygdala is the most connected region of your brain, it's doing a lot of stuff, it's really important for emotional regulation and triggering emotional responses to fear," Krebs explained in an interview. In a healthy person's brain, the amygdala and vmPFC are in "constant communication," she added, but in PTSD the overactive amygdala may overpower the vmPFC, making it much more difficult for a person to control their emotional responses to traumatic memories, while making it harder for them to confront these memories.
The opposite occurs when a person takes MDMA, according to Krebs; his or her amygdala activity is dampened down, while the vmPFC becomes more active. This could help a person feel more in control and better able to revisit traumatic memories, the researchers say.
Finally, Krebs and Johansen say, MDMA boosts the release of norepinephrine and cortisol, brain chemicals that are essential for emotional learning. Sedative drugs like Valium are sometimes given to people with PTSD, the researchers note, and these may actually blunt the effectiveness of therapy by completely wiping out the stress response to fearful memories, which is needed for re-learning to occur.
The current report is meant to provide a "framework" for researchers interested in investigating how MDMA might help people with PTSD and other anxiety-related conditions, said Krebs, who with Johansen has received a grant from the Research Council of Norway to investigate the topic. "What we'd really like to see is more research in this area."
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Long Deployments to Blame for Increased Army Suicides?
By: Associated Press
A top Army commander said Wednesday the strain of long and repeated deployments was a big factor in the spike in suicides among Army personnel.
"It's a stressed and tired force," Army Vice Chief of Staff Gen. Peter Chiarelli told a Senate Armed Services subcommittee. He noted that some troops remain on 15-month deployments to Iraq that won't end until later this year.
"We can do a lot, but we can't control the demand, and we expect the demand for all of 2009 and into 2010," Chiarelli said.
Last year, the Army had 140 suspected suicides among active-duty troops, an all-time high. It reported 24 suspected suicides in January, followed by 18 suspected last month. Each military branch, however, saw an increase in the number of suicides among its ranks from 2007 to 2008.
Chiarelli vowed to tackle the problem aggressively by looking for ways to mitigate the stress on soldiers and eliminate the stigma associated with getting mental health help. One thing he was doing, he said, was receiving a briefing on the circumstances leading up to every suicide, so he can better understand the problem.
He said suicide is having an impact on every segment of the Army, affecting soldiers of all ranks and both men and women. He said about two-thirds of those who had committed suicide last year were either deployed or had deployed. A vast majority, he said, were dealing with some type of relationship problem, and many had legal, financial or occupational difficulties.
Top officers from each of the other branches joined Chiarelli. Each said a shortage of mental health workers was a problem.
Sen. Ben Nelson who chaired the hearing, said the rise in suicides shows that "despite the services' best efforts, there is still more to be done to prevent military suicides."
At the Pentagon, Defense Secretary Robert Gates said the Army is confronting suicides forcefully. He said repeated and long deployments take a toll.
"What I am told is that one of the principal causes of suicide among our men and women in uniform is broken relationships," Gates said during a news conference. "And it's hard not to imagine that repeated deployments don't have an impact on those relationships."
A top Army commander said Wednesday the strain of long and repeated deployments was a big factor in the spike in suicides among Army personnel.
"It's a stressed and tired force," Army Vice Chief of Staff Gen. Peter Chiarelli told a Senate Armed Services subcommittee. He noted that some troops remain on 15-month deployments to Iraq that won't end until later this year.
"We can do a lot, but we can't control the demand, and we expect the demand for all of 2009 and into 2010," Chiarelli said.
Last year, the Army had 140 suspected suicides among active-duty troops, an all-time high. It reported 24 suspected suicides in January, followed by 18 suspected last month. Each military branch, however, saw an increase in the number of suicides among its ranks from 2007 to 2008.
Chiarelli vowed to tackle the problem aggressively by looking for ways to mitigate the stress on soldiers and eliminate the stigma associated with getting mental health help. One thing he was doing, he said, was receiving a briefing on the circumstances leading up to every suicide, so he can better understand the problem.
He said suicide is having an impact on every segment of the Army, affecting soldiers of all ranks and both men and women. He said about two-thirds of those who had committed suicide last year were either deployed or had deployed. A vast majority, he said, were dealing with some type of relationship problem, and many had legal, financial or occupational difficulties.
Top officers from each of the other branches joined Chiarelli. Each said a shortage of mental health workers was a problem.
Sen. Ben Nelson who chaired the hearing, said the rise in suicides shows that "despite the services' best efforts, there is still more to be done to prevent military suicides."
At the Pentagon, Defense Secretary Robert Gates said the Army is confronting suicides forcefully. He said repeated and long deployments take a toll.
"What I am told is that one of the principal causes of suicide among our men and women in uniform is broken relationships," Gates said during a news conference. "And it's hard not to imagine that repeated deployments don't have an impact on those relationships."
Army Stop-Loss May Be Coming to an End
By: Associated Press
The Army this summer will start cutting back on use of the unpopular practice of holding troops beyond their enlistment dates and hopes to almost completely eliminate it in two years.
Defense Secretary Robert Gates said, though, it may never be possible to completely get rid of the policy called "stop-loss," under which some 13,000 soldiers whose time is already up are still being forced to continue serving.
"I felt, particularly in these numbers, that it was breaking faith," Gates told a Pentagon press conference.
Though officials have the legal power to involuntarily extend soldier's service, "I believe that when somebody's end date of service comes, to hold them against their will, if you will, is just not the right thing to do," he said.
He said that he hoped any future use after 2011 would only be in "scores, not thousands."
Critics have called "stop-loss" a backdoor draft because it keeps troops in the military beyond their retirement or re-enlistment dates. But the military has said it's a necessary tool to keep unit cohesion in times of war and to keep soldiers with certain skills needed in those units.
Soldiers and their families strongly dislike stop-loss and it was the title of a 2008 Hollywood movie in which a soldier who served in Iraq goes AWOL rather than following orders to stay longer in the service and go again.
'Victory for soldiers'
Rep. John Murtha said earlier Wednesday that the military also had agreed to begin $500 monthly payments to troops still forced to stay in service beyond their retirement or enlistment terms.
The payments are planned to soften the effects of the practice, which makes it impossible for troops to make lasting work and family plans.
"This is a victory for soldiers and their families," Sen. Frank R. Lautenberg, D-N.J., said. "After months and often years of risking their lives, our troops deserve to know when they will return home. The military made a deal with our men and women in uniform and will now live up to that commitment."
The policy can keep a soldier in service if his or her unit deploys within 90 days of the end of the soldier's commitment. The Army has said 1 percent of the Army is affected by the forced extensions. As of January, the roughly 13,000 soldiers on stop-loss included 7,300 active-duty Army, about 4,450 in the Guard and 1,450 reservists.
Effective this month, troops will get $500-per-month payments for extending their service and it will be made retroactive for those who were on the stop-loss roles as of last Oct. 1. Payments before were not possible, officials said, because Congress did not appropriate funds for that. The costs for the payments for the budget year that began Oct. 1, 2008, are about $72 million.
Not without risks
Under the Army plan approved by Gates, the Army Reserve in August will begin mobilizing units that don't include stop-loss soldiers and the Guard in September will do the same.
The active duty Army is to deploy its first unit without stop-loss in January, he said.
Though the practice has been virtually ended in all other service branches, the Army said it still needed to use it because of the severe strain it has been under fighting the two ongoing wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.
Officials say it is possible to gradually reduce the number of stop-loss soldiers now because the Army has grown, retention is good, because of the drawdown in Iraq and because officials are changing the way new units rotate — something that gives units scheduled for combat more time to get the people with the skills they need as opposed to holding in service soldiers who have that skill.
Gates acknowledged that there is a risk. Though he didn't lay it out, it is that a serious deterioration of conditions in Iraq and Afghanistan could mean the Army would be short-handed again in certain skill sets.
"Our goal is to cut the number of those stop-lost by 50 percent by June 2010 and to eliminate the regular use of stop-loss across the entire Army by March 2011," Gates said. "We will retain the authority to use stop-loss under extraordinary circumstances."
The Army this summer will start cutting back on use of the unpopular practice of holding troops beyond their enlistment dates and hopes to almost completely eliminate it in two years.
Defense Secretary Robert Gates said, though, it may never be possible to completely get rid of the policy called "stop-loss," under which some 13,000 soldiers whose time is already up are still being forced to continue serving.
"I felt, particularly in these numbers, that it was breaking faith," Gates told a Pentagon press conference.
Though officials have the legal power to involuntarily extend soldier's service, "I believe that when somebody's end date of service comes, to hold them against their will, if you will, is just not the right thing to do," he said.
He said that he hoped any future use after 2011 would only be in "scores, not thousands."
Critics have called "stop-loss" a backdoor draft because it keeps troops in the military beyond their retirement or re-enlistment dates. But the military has said it's a necessary tool to keep unit cohesion in times of war and to keep soldiers with certain skills needed in those units.
Soldiers and their families strongly dislike stop-loss and it was the title of a 2008 Hollywood movie in which a soldier who served in Iraq goes AWOL rather than following orders to stay longer in the service and go again.
'Victory for soldiers'
Rep. John Murtha said earlier Wednesday that the military also had agreed to begin $500 monthly payments to troops still forced to stay in service beyond their retirement or enlistment terms.
The payments are planned to soften the effects of the practice, which makes it impossible for troops to make lasting work and family plans.
"This is a victory for soldiers and their families," Sen. Frank R. Lautenberg, D-N.J., said. "After months and often years of risking their lives, our troops deserve to know when they will return home. The military made a deal with our men and women in uniform and will now live up to that commitment."
The policy can keep a soldier in service if his or her unit deploys within 90 days of the end of the soldier's commitment. The Army has said 1 percent of the Army is affected by the forced extensions. As of January, the roughly 13,000 soldiers on stop-loss included 7,300 active-duty Army, about 4,450 in the Guard and 1,450 reservists.
Effective this month, troops will get $500-per-month payments for extending their service and it will be made retroactive for those who were on the stop-loss roles as of last Oct. 1. Payments before were not possible, officials said, because Congress did not appropriate funds for that. The costs for the payments for the budget year that began Oct. 1, 2008, are about $72 million.
Not without risks
Under the Army plan approved by Gates, the Army Reserve in August will begin mobilizing units that don't include stop-loss soldiers and the Guard in September will do the same.
The active duty Army is to deploy its first unit without stop-loss in January, he said.
Though the practice has been virtually ended in all other service branches, the Army said it still needed to use it because of the severe strain it has been under fighting the two ongoing wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.
Officials say it is possible to gradually reduce the number of stop-loss soldiers now because the Army has grown, retention is good, because of the drawdown in Iraq and because officials are changing the way new units rotate — something that gives units scheduled for combat more time to get the people with the skills they need as opposed to holding in service soldiers who have that skill.
Gates acknowledged that there is a risk. Though he didn't lay it out, it is that a serious deterioration of conditions in Iraq and Afghanistan could mean the Army would be short-handed again in certain skill sets.
"Our goal is to cut the number of those stop-lost by 50 percent by June 2010 and to eliminate the regular use of stop-loss across the entire Army by March 2011," Gates said. "We will retain the authority to use stop-loss under extraordinary circumstances."
Monday, March 16, 2009
Killer Blue Back From Iraq
By: Associated Press
On his first morning home from Iraq, Lt. Rusty Morris woke at dawn, next to his wife, their son tucked between them. Loyal, who was just a baby when Morris deployed 15 months earlier, touched his father's face and ears as he drifted in and out of sleep.
Spc. Nathan Stopps expected to feel liberated once he arrived home safely. He didn't feel any different.
Sgt. Jon Fleenor was pinned with the Purple Heart, a medal he never wanted to earn and never wanted to wear.
Nearly six years after American troops invaded Iraq, the men of "Killer Blue" were coming home — matured, scarred, looking forward to resuming their lives, finding themselves suddenly startled by what used to be routine. Associated Press photojournalists lived with their unit for over four months, chronicling their combat and now their return home.
Men of Killer Blue are not broken
The unit's motto is "Baptized by fire, came out steel," and it fits, because the men of Killer Blue are not broken. They count themselves better soldiers now, and believe they'll be better dads, husbands and sons, masters of their fate.
Yet the struggle to be average Americans again plays out in different ways, some stark, some subtle. Stopps wonders why the sight of a fallen comrade's coffee mug brought a torrent of tears, while the death of another has left him dry-eyed. He can't explain it.
Another sees his fellow citizens back home and instinctively wonders if they can be trusted, simply because they are not in a uniform. "It's like going to the zoo," said Sgt. Cole Weih. "And it's overwhelming."
They offer insights about serving in war:
"War is the fundamental flaw of mankind." — Morris.
"War is the biggest case of denial in human history." — Stopps.
"Just a job to bring everybody home safe." — Fleenor.
And they wonder how life will be now that they've experienced excitement and fear at a higher level than they expect to encounter again. "Now I can say for the rest of my life that I walked across a tightrope," said Stopps, 24, of Deerfield, Ill.
Experience shaped future goals
Not everyone made it home. For those who did, their lives in Iraq and the deaths of men who became family have forever shaped their goals for the future and their sense of the people they want to be.
"I think I've matured and become more aware of how valuable life is and how quickly it can be taken away," said Spc. Derek Griffard, 22, of Santa Maria, Calif. "I just think I'm trying to live my life to the fullest before something else happens."
"I just don't want to waste the great opportunity that I got from Iraq," said Morris, 28, from Sumter, S.C., who served as Blue Platoon's leader with Killer Troop for half of the tour.
"I learned a lot about myself. I learned a lot about what's important."
Killer Blue — a unit of the Fort Hood-based 3rd Armored Cavalry Regiment's 3rd Squadron — was one of the last Army units to serve a 15-month combat tour in Iraq, in the most dangerous city in a country ravaged by war and sectarian strife. While the unit was still in Iraq, the Pentagon cut combat tours to 12 months.
It was a time when hearts were broken, blood was spilled, resolve was tested. Two of the two dozen Killer Blue soldiers died.
Time of deep camaraderie
But it was also a time of deep camaraderie and loyalty, of adventure, of growth.
"Most of the time we got attacked nothing really happened," Stopps said. "So it felt like you walked on a tightrope walk for the first time and you're on the other side and you're like, wow, I made it.
"It was really dangerous and I was scared at first and it was probably a really stupid thing to do — but I'm on the other side and I survived it and it is pretty cool."
Situated at the intersection of two of the most dangerous roads in the northern city of Mosul, Killer Blue staked its claim in the rubble of a former municipal yard that served as a joint U.S.-Iraqi base. Crafted in plywood, Combat Outpost Rabiy (Arabic for "Spring") was like a fire station.
As part of the U.S. military plan to quell violence in Iraqi cities, troops moved off of large bases and into combat outposts, living among the Iraqi people and providing security.
Some nights, they slept with their boots on when the radio calls kept coming. They could be on the scene of a bombing within seven minutes. They were hit by roadside bombs, small arms fire and rocket-propelled grenades countless times, earning the platoon 13 Purple Hearts.
"There wasn't a mission we were scared to do," Morris said. "We were used to working with each other so we were very confident, I think."
Bond forged over rations and cigarettes
A plywood table outside the big room the Killer Blue men shared became their gathering place. Around that table, they forged a bond over military rations and cigarettes. They played cards and talked about the lives they left behind in America. They told war stories and hatched plans for what to do next.
"That was our chance, that was our moment to know each other," said Weih, 28, the platoon medic, from Dubuque, Iowa. "I think from that point forward we were family."
On April 30, 2008, the family started to break up. First, it was Staff Sgt. Chad Caldwell, killed by a roadside bomb. The dismount squad leader and a two-time Iraq veteran from Spokane, Wash., 24-year-old Caldwell had an iTunes playlist that ran the gamut from bubblegum pop to heavy metal. With a small, wiry build and a two-pack-a-day habit, Caldwell had the names of his two young sons, Trevor and Coen, tattooed on his forearms.
Sgt. Jose Regalado, 23, of El Sereno, Calif., was next. The two-tour Iraq veteran's first child was born while he was deployed, but he made it home on leave to meet the little girl. His wife, Sharri, wrote him a letter every day. Shortly after his return to Mosul, he was killed Nov. 12, 2008, by an Iraqi soldier who opened fire on U.S. soldiers visiting an Iraqi Army base.
"Before Sgt. Caldwell died, there was a lot of laughter," Weih said. "A lot of jokes, a lot of people having fun. After he died, it was very serious. Music wasn't played out loud much anymore. I think the seriousness of the situation came home and it never left."
Joined the Army at 25Morris, the platoon leader, was a fixture at the table as much as any of the enlisted soldiers. He joined the Army at 25 — later than most lieutenants — after leaving a job at a credit union.
Caldwell's death shaped the rest of Morris' deployment and his resolve to come home and be a better man.
"Anyone that you've fought with or bled with, you don't want to disgrace their memory," Morris said. "So I don't want to be a bad father or husband or be financially irresponsible or drink too much. For people that won't ever get to see their kids again, I'm trying to treat my kids a little better than I ever did and take care of them as best as I can."
Stopps was new to the Army. A college graduate with a degree in English Literature, he chose to be an enlisted man and talks as much of the privilege of serving in war as he does of the power of denial.
Kept a detailed journal
He kept a detailed journal of the deployment and wrote raps about his experiences. Stopps was wounded on Oct. 15, 2008, along with several other soldiers — hit in the neck by shrapnel, some of which still remains because doctors deemed that safer than trying to get all of it.
As he adjusts to life at home, Stopps is also adjusting to the idea that being a soldier might not be the only thing that defines him.
"Strangers are never going to write to me again and tell him how great I am, elementary schools aren't going to send me big packages again with stick figure drawings with big handwriting saying how I'm a hero and stuff like that," he said.
"I think I need to feel satisfied with what I've done and not trying to tell people that I met that I'm some big veteran, not being the defining thing about me."
Army was life he knew
Fleenor, 25, from Sacramento, Calif., a two-time Iraq veteran, was in Iraq when his wife gave birth to a baby girl, Alexis, in May 2008. In his last deployment to Iraq, Fleenor had seen some of the war's heaviest fighting in Tal Afar in 2004. He left the Army in 2005 in to start a tattoo studio, but eventually decided to return to the life he knew so well.
In October, Fleenor and five other soldiers were injured by a roadside bomb. The damage to his right leg was extensive and he was sent home to recover. Fleenor is facing his sixth surgery and more physical therapy.
"I'm not one for ceremonies, especially a Purple Heart," he said. "I told my unit to just mail it to me because it's not the first one. Just a regular ceremony for something you don't want."
He adds: "I'm still the same."
Griffard was also wounded on the same day Fleenor was sent home. He hopes to leave the Army next fall, and worries about the possibility of post-traumatic stress that could affect his future. The best way of handling the stress, he says, is to talk about it rather than bottling up the memories.
Surviving the blast brought Griffard out of his shell.
"I try to keep in touch with my family and friends as much as possible," he said. "Because one day you might not have your family and friends anymore."
Eventually, he plans to teach
Weih often kept to himself or carved figures out of wood. "Doc," as all medics are called, carried his grandfather's dog tags from World War II. Before joining the Army, he studied sociology.
For Weih, the deaths crystallized his goals for the future. He'll serve more time in the Army, but eventually he plans to teach.
"You have to do them honor by moving forward," he said. "Part of that process is re-evaluation of what you have to offer to yourself and to the people around you. You owe it to the person you lost, people around you, and yourself to move forward.
"With that sort of evaluation, it's impossible to not come out of it changed, to become more aware. To become more directed."
On his first morning home from Iraq, Lt. Rusty Morris woke at dawn, next to his wife, their son tucked between them. Loyal, who was just a baby when Morris deployed 15 months earlier, touched his father's face and ears as he drifted in and out of sleep.
Spc. Nathan Stopps expected to feel liberated once he arrived home safely. He didn't feel any different.
Sgt. Jon Fleenor was pinned with the Purple Heart, a medal he never wanted to earn and never wanted to wear.
Nearly six years after American troops invaded Iraq, the men of "Killer Blue" were coming home — matured, scarred, looking forward to resuming their lives, finding themselves suddenly startled by what used to be routine. Associated Press photojournalists lived with their unit for over four months, chronicling their combat and now their return home.
Men of Killer Blue are not broken
The unit's motto is "Baptized by fire, came out steel," and it fits, because the men of Killer Blue are not broken. They count themselves better soldiers now, and believe they'll be better dads, husbands and sons, masters of their fate.
Yet the struggle to be average Americans again plays out in different ways, some stark, some subtle. Stopps wonders why the sight of a fallen comrade's coffee mug brought a torrent of tears, while the death of another has left him dry-eyed. He can't explain it.
Another sees his fellow citizens back home and instinctively wonders if they can be trusted, simply because they are not in a uniform. "It's like going to the zoo," said Sgt. Cole Weih. "And it's overwhelming."
They offer insights about serving in war:
"War is the fundamental flaw of mankind." — Morris.
"War is the biggest case of denial in human history." — Stopps.
"Just a job to bring everybody home safe." — Fleenor.
And they wonder how life will be now that they've experienced excitement and fear at a higher level than they expect to encounter again. "Now I can say for the rest of my life that I walked across a tightrope," said Stopps, 24, of Deerfield, Ill.
Experience shaped future goals
Not everyone made it home. For those who did, their lives in Iraq and the deaths of men who became family have forever shaped their goals for the future and their sense of the people they want to be.
"I think I've matured and become more aware of how valuable life is and how quickly it can be taken away," said Spc. Derek Griffard, 22, of Santa Maria, Calif. "I just think I'm trying to live my life to the fullest before something else happens."
"I just don't want to waste the great opportunity that I got from Iraq," said Morris, 28, from Sumter, S.C., who served as Blue Platoon's leader with Killer Troop for half of the tour.
"I learned a lot about myself. I learned a lot about what's important."
Killer Blue — a unit of the Fort Hood-based 3rd Armored Cavalry Regiment's 3rd Squadron — was one of the last Army units to serve a 15-month combat tour in Iraq, in the most dangerous city in a country ravaged by war and sectarian strife. While the unit was still in Iraq, the Pentagon cut combat tours to 12 months.
It was a time when hearts were broken, blood was spilled, resolve was tested. Two of the two dozen Killer Blue soldiers died.
Time of deep camaraderie
But it was also a time of deep camaraderie and loyalty, of adventure, of growth.
"Most of the time we got attacked nothing really happened," Stopps said. "So it felt like you walked on a tightrope walk for the first time and you're on the other side and you're like, wow, I made it.
"It was really dangerous and I was scared at first and it was probably a really stupid thing to do — but I'm on the other side and I survived it and it is pretty cool."
Situated at the intersection of two of the most dangerous roads in the northern city of Mosul, Killer Blue staked its claim in the rubble of a former municipal yard that served as a joint U.S.-Iraqi base. Crafted in plywood, Combat Outpost Rabiy (Arabic for "Spring") was like a fire station.
As part of the U.S. military plan to quell violence in Iraqi cities, troops moved off of large bases and into combat outposts, living among the Iraqi people and providing security.
Some nights, they slept with their boots on when the radio calls kept coming. They could be on the scene of a bombing within seven minutes. They were hit by roadside bombs, small arms fire and rocket-propelled grenades countless times, earning the platoon 13 Purple Hearts.
"There wasn't a mission we were scared to do," Morris said. "We were used to working with each other so we were very confident, I think."
Bond forged over rations and cigarettes
A plywood table outside the big room the Killer Blue men shared became their gathering place. Around that table, they forged a bond over military rations and cigarettes. They played cards and talked about the lives they left behind in America. They told war stories and hatched plans for what to do next.
"That was our chance, that was our moment to know each other," said Weih, 28, the platoon medic, from Dubuque, Iowa. "I think from that point forward we were family."
On April 30, 2008, the family started to break up. First, it was Staff Sgt. Chad Caldwell, killed by a roadside bomb. The dismount squad leader and a two-time Iraq veteran from Spokane, Wash., 24-year-old Caldwell had an iTunes playlist that ran the gamut from bubblegum pop to heavy metal. With a small, wiry build and a two-pack-a-day habit, Caldwell had the names of his two young sons, Trevor and Coen, tattooed on his forearms.
Sgt. Jose Regalado, 23, of El Sereno, Calif., was next. The two-tour Iraq veteran's first child was born while he was deployed, but he made it home on leave to meet the little girl. His wife, Sharri, wrote him a letter every day. Shortly after his return to Mosul, he was killed Nov. 12, 2008, by an Iraqi soldier who opened fire on U.S. soldiers visiting an Iraqi Army base.
"Before Sgt. Caldwell died, there was a lot of laughter," Weih said. "A lot of jokes, a lot of people having fun. After he died, it was very serious. Music wasn't played out loud much anymore. I think the seriousness of the situation came home and it never left."
Joined the Army at 25Morris, the platoon leader, was a fixture at the table as much as any of the enlisted soldiers. He joined the Army at 25 — later than most lieutenants — after leaving a job at a credit union.
Caldwell's death shaped the rest of Morris' deployment and his resolve to come home and be a better man.
"Anyone that you've fought with or bled with, you don't want to disgrace their memory," Morris said. "So I don't want to be a bad father or husband or be financially irresponsible or drink too much. For people that won't ever get to see their kids again, I'm trying to treat my kids a little better than I ever did and take care of them as best as I can."
Stopps was new to the Army. A college graduate with a degree in English Literature, he chose to be an enlisted man and talks as much of the privilege of serving in war as he does of the power of denial.
Kept a detailed journal
He kept a detailed journal of the deployment and wrote raps about his experiences. Stopps was wounded on Oct. 15, 2008, along with several other soldiers — hit in the neck by shrapnel, some of which still remains because doctors deemed that safer than trying to get all of it.
As he adjusts to life at home, Stopps is also adjusting to the idea that being a soldier might not be the only thing that defines him.
"Strangers are never going to write to me again and tell him how great I am, elementary schools aren't going to send me big packages again with stick figure drawings with big handwriting saying how I'm a hero and stuff like that," he said.
"I think I need to feel satisfied with what I've done and not trying to tell people that I met that I'm some big veteran, not being the defining thing about me."
Army was life he knew
Fleenor, 25, from Sacramento, Calif., a two-time Iraq veteran, was in Iraq when his wife gave birth to a baby girl, Alexis, in May 2008. In his last deployment to Iraq, Fleenor had seen some of the war's heaviest fighting in Tal Afar in 2004. He left the Army in 2005 in to start a tattoo studio, but eventually decided to return to the life he knew so well.
In October, Fleenor and five other soldiers were injured by a roadside bomb. The damage to his right leg was extensive and he was sent home to recover. Fleenor is facing his sixth surgery and more physical therapy.
"I'm not one for ceremonies, especially a Purple Heart," he said. "I told my unit to just mail it to me because it's not the first one. Just a regular ceremony for something you don't want."
He adds: "I'm still the same."
Griffard was also wounded on the same day Fleenor was sent home. He hopes to leave the Army next fall, and worries about the possibility of post-traumatic stress that could affect his future. The best way of handling the stress, he says, is to talk about it rather than bottling up the memories.
Surviving the blast brought Griffard out of his shell.
"I try to keep in touch with my family and friends as much as possible," he said. "Because one day you might not have your family and friends anymore."
Eventually, he plans to teach
Weih often kept to himself or carved figures out of wood. "Doc," as all medics are called, carried his grandfather's dog tags from World War II. Before joining the Army, he studied sociology.
For Weih, the deaths crystallized his goals for the future. He'll serve more time in the Army, but eventually he plans to teach.
"You have to do them honor by moving forward," he said. "Part of that process is re-evaluation of what you have to offer to yourself and to the people around you. You owe it to the person you lost, people around you, and yourself to move forward.
"With that sort of evaluation, it's impossible to not come out of it changed, to become more aware. To become more directed."
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Posting Delays
It has been a few weeks since my last post, and I have returned. I have been extremely busy with work and home. Since January 25, 2009, my husband had been enrolled in an 8 week long PTSD inpatient program in North Little Rock, Arkansas. Abruptly, he was sent home.
It has been one week now, and we continue to have trouble struggling to get him readjusted to home. This has been made difficult because he doesn't think he was appropriately sent home early.
I have been in the process of reading a book to review here, which I think will do wonders for anyone trying to learn more about the problems being faced by the new wounded warriors, but it has been a long process when you're basically a single working mom to four animals. I will bring you the review shortly.
I wanted to let everyone know I'm still here, and will continue to post interesting articles; however, the book (Faces of Combat, PTSD and TBI: One Journalists Crusade to Improve Treatment of Our Veterans: Eric Newhouse) and my own life has made me realize that posting other people's story may not be enough for my own coping mechanism and may not be enough to help bring a greater understanding of these problems.
I have gained the trust and understanding of my husband, who will now allow me to post about the day-to-day dealings with someone with PTSD and TBI. I will chronicle my struggles along with his. I hope that I can provide others a greater understanding of these two problems that many of our current veterans face. Alternatively, I want those like me to know that they are not alone.
Thank you,
Lisa
It has been one week now, and we continue to have trouble struggling to get him readjusted to home. This has been made difficult because he doesn't think he was appropriately sent home early.
I have been in the process of reading a book to review here, which I think will do wonders for anyone trying to learn more about the problems being faced by the new wounded warriors, but it has been a long process when you're basically a single working mom to four animals. I will bring you the review shortly.
I wanted to let everyone know I'm still here, and will continue to post interesting articles; however, the book (Faces of Combat, PTSD and TBI: One Journalists Crusade to Improve Treatment of Our Veterans: Eric Newhouse) and my own life has made me realize that posting other people's story may not be enough for my own coping mechanism and may not be enough to help bring a greater understanding of these problems.
I have gained the trust and understanding of my husband, who will now allow me to post about the day-to-day dealings with someone with PTSD and TBI. I will chronicle my struggles along with his. I hope that I can provide others a greater understanding of these two problems that many of our current veterans face. Alternatively, I want those like me to know that they are not alone.
Thank you,
Lisa
Iraqi Veteran Sought in Bank Robbery
Police in Sandy, Utah are investigating a bank robbery involving a suspect they believe is an Iraq War veteran.
Police describe the suspect as a white man wearing dark clothing (including gloves and a full face ski mask and back pack) who entered the branch at Washington Mutual on Monday. According to police, the suspect demanded that the teller give him money, that he had a gun and would shoot her if the money was not produced quickly. The teller gave him some cash from the till, but the robber demanded more. She was able to locate more cash which the suspect took.
Police say the suspect fled the building and ran to his getaway vehicle. Witnesses saw him leave the area in a white Dodge Durango with over sized tires and a lift with Utah license plate (A408B).
Detectives believe the suspect is a Codie Carver, 24 yrs white male 5'11" 180 lbs. Detectives are pursuing additional leads to try and determine his location.
Carver is a former U.S. Marine who served in the Iraq War. Carver's family made a plea through the media on Tuesday for him to come forward and turn himself in.
Carver’s family says he has been suffering from Post Traumatic Stress disorder and financial problems.
Police describe the suspect as a white man wearing dark clothing (including gloves and a full face ski mask and back pack) who entered the branch at Washington Mutual on Monday. According to police, the suspect demanded that the teller give him money, that he had a gun and would shoot her if the money was not produced quickly. The teller gave him some cash from the till, but the robber demanded more. She was able to locate more cash which the suspect took.
Police say the suspect fled the building and ran to his getaway vehicle. Witnesses saw him leave the area in a white Dodge Durango with over sized tires and a lift with Utah license plate (A408B).
Detectives believe the suspect is a Codie Carver, 24 yrs white male 5'11" 180 lbs. Detectives are pursuing additional leads to try and determine his location.
Carver is a former U.S. Marine who served in the Iraq War. Carver's family made a plea through the media on Tuesday for him to come forward and turn himself in.
Carver’s family says he has been suffering from Post Traumatic Stress disorder and financial problems.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
